Thursday, April 30, 2009

Change

So we are redoing our house. Not in the sense of ripping things out and putting in new, but we are definitely painting, rearranging and freecycling. We have had a light blue kitchen and gray-blue living room for the past two years. I love the color, but it was time for a change. We are going with a rust color with some lighter tan tones, which I am hoping look good. We'll see...it's a change for sure.

I have a hard time with change. I am a very scheduled and routine oriented person. I often hear my husband or fellow teachers telling me to just relax...right. I like when people are dependable and do what is expected of them. I need to map things out and write to do lists. Is that odd? Honestly, who doesn't thrive in marking off a to do list. But really, the fun is making one!

Maybe my fear of change is the unknown. Not knowing if the new with fit with the old. Not finding a place to fit in. I think one of the hardest changes to make is in churches. Finding a new church can be so difficult. Busting in to the circles at church can be exhausting. I know that it shouldn't be like grade school, but many times I feel like it is. We are comfortable with the people around us, not wanting to change the groups that we run with. Mike and I have been at our church almost four years now. We love our church, the people, the ministries. But in many ways, I feel as if I am still busting into the circles and trying to find somewhere to belong. I've been frustrated lately and trying to know where I fit in. Maybe I just need change. I need to reach out of my comfort zone and change my surrounding. I can't always depend on others to reach out or take the first step. Thankfully, God is in control of the unknown. He is in control of the changes. Luckily, I am not.

1 comment:

Adrienne said...

I love that you've been updating your blog more! And- I too love lists. Today I made two to-do lists for my kids to get ready for Open House. It helped. See, everyone needs lists!