Change

So we are redoing our house. Not in the sense of ripping things out and putting in new, but we are definitely painting, rearranging and freecycling. We have had a light blue kitchen and gray-blue living room for the past two years. I love the color, but it was time for a change. We are going with a rust color with some lighter tan tones, which I am hoping look good. We'll see...it's a change for sure.

I have a hard time with change. I am a very scheduled and routine oriented person. I often hear my husband or fellow teachers telling me to just relax...right. I like when people are dependable and do what is expected of them. I need to map things out and write to do lists. Is that odd? Honestly, who doesn't thrive in marking off a to do list. But really, the fun is making one!

Maybe my fear of change is the unknown. Not knowing if the new with fit with the old. Not finding a place to fit in. I think one of the hardest changes to make is in churches. Finding a new church can be so difficult. Busting in to the circles at church can be exhausting. I know that it shouldn't be like grade school, but many times I feel like it is. We are comfortable with the people around us, not wanting to change the groups that we run with. Mike and I have been at our church almost four years now. We love our church, the people, the ministries. But in many ways, I feel as if I am still busting into the circles and trying to find somewhere to belong. I've been frustrated lately and trying to know where I fit in. Maybe I just need change. I need to reach out of my comfort zone and change my surrounding. I can't always depend on others to reach out or take the first step. Thankfully, God is in control of the unknown. He is in control of the changes. Luckily, I am not.